The Essential Bond of a Name
Monday, January 16th 2012 @ 11:39 AM
For some reason, just as we began parshat Shmot last week (but before we had any conversations about the parsha), all kinds of name-related happenings started popping up in my house. I don’t think it’s a coincidence. I’ve found that we really do “live with the times”—our lives reflect what happens in each week’s Torah portion—and we can see those connections if our eyes are open to them.
Shmot, which means ‘Names,’ is the name of both the second book of the Chumash and the first parsha in that book. Moshe is born and named. The names of people who go down to Egypt are enumerated. The importance of the Jewish people not changing their names is noted.
And this past week in our home, our two-year-old daughter has begun to use her complete name instead of a shortened form—and she prefaces this new accomplishment by saying “My name is…”! Is she living with the times or what?
Also this past week, our oldest daughter traveled across the border into Canada for a wedding. Her passport was freshly renewed for the trip—with her Hebrew name (her only name) proudly proving her identity.
And one day this past week, our son was talking to me about the fact that his name is “so Jewish.” He didn’t seem particularly enthusiastic at that moment. The next day, my husband (unaware of the previous day's conversation) created a piece of art featuring our son’s name in beautiful Hebrew calligraphy. Then he had the artwork mounted and laminated, and when he brought it home and presented it, our son immediately (and proudly) hung the plaque on his bedroom door. A small expression of the essential connection of a Jewish child with his name—and of the bond between parent and child that is created through that name.
It’s said that parents are given special insight when they name a child. In fact, they’re said to have ruach hakodesh—a spirit of holiness, basically a direct message from G-d—when they choose a name. The weightiness of this is a bit overwhelming when it’s your turn to name a baby, but the fact that the Hebrew name you “choose” is actually the one that is truly intended for that child is also liberating. I think all parents have moments of “namer’s remorse”—whether immediately after naming or years later. So it’s helpful to be reminded that our children’s names were meant for them and reflect who they really are.
I think that when a child knows that his name is a reflection of his essential self, of the bond with his parents (and with the generations that came before), and, in turn, of his connection with G-d, that will strengthen him as he grows. We learn that the Jewish people were able to hold on to their identities and did not change their names in Egypt, but which came first? That because they did not lose their identities, they did not change their names? Or that because they kept their Jewish names, they did not lose their identities?
I think it’s the latter, and knowing this is helpful in today’s “exile” just as it was during the one in Egypt. When we live in a surrounding culture that is not always conducive to living Jewishly, we often have to deal with doubt and distraction. That’s when, consciously or unconsciously, our names can bring us back to who we really are.
So one day, a teenager may complain about his name, and the next, he’ll smile as he attaches that name to his door with pride. That kid may face challenges but he will always know who he is.
